...

have you ever felt like you were betrayed, or hurt, or ignored--even though all you were doing was being friendly and giving others love? Well then you might feel a little bit like I do right now...I'm still not sure if what I'm feeling has any merit whatsoever, but I'm tired, and just a little worn-out with being treated in a way that seems to me, to be unloving...and just a little bit selfish... :(

I've often told people that I might as well be a girl with all the mood-swings I get, but one thing to my merit is that I usually handle those emotions in a Christ-like manner instead of vindictively...you can't expect to be loved if you don't love...and that's the truth of it. But I'm really feeling pretty lonely right now...sometimes other people really annoy me...often more so if I love them...which is ironic...but then again...if I love them, it hurts more I suppose...

that said...there's no better way to express emotions than in a poem...and this is what happened:

What Was, and What Lives:

life changes...but hopes move on.
The swirling blue of cirrus lifts our souls to new heights.

What once was colored, now it fades below...
beneath the snow of perpetuity—

To live or die, this is my dream...
to be a friend--which isn't always what it seems.
To be a friend means sometimes that we say goodbye
--and doing that is the hardest thing of all:

But firm the tiller, 'gainst the storm...
what hopes of heights, that now have been reborn...
for what is shorn, dost never need return to dust—
my footfalls pound the snow, renewed with thrust

Hear O’ Israel! The Lord thy God is one!
A father that will never loose his son
And lonely songs will never be forgotten
When sung upon the road that leads to him

What once was sorrow—now it turns to joy
What once was heartache, now becomes my cheer
For dissolutions quiet every fear
--within this land—of ever-changing snow...

And one day when I look upon my past,
A beauty that is born of more than ash,
I’ll look and see—rejoice with thee!
What beauty! Joy! What love was there!

--songs of a heavy heart bring comfort to a soul that weeps
...for I can bet my Lord dost never sleep
And shout my victory...to a siren-song that calls!
The call that once thought it might claim my all!
:)

~Dan Midgett, 10/19/09, 9:16 AM

hmm...I feel a bit better...thank you all for loving me...I've never felt unloved on blogger in case any of you were curious...well except for that one time that bethany wouldn't ever comment on my blog...lol, j/k...she did eventually! :) love you all!

Life is exceedingle excellent!

Hello my dear readers...sorry I have been so awfully dull and lazy of late...but in my defense it is much harder to be taking college engineering and blogging then it is to be doing highschool and blogging. I'm so deep in math, I feel like I've doubled my knowledge over the past year, but I don't mind it at all...I love applying and that's what Engineering is about...applying the principles of mathematics to the real world and solving problems...and, what I like best, building things!

yes!

...but that wasn't what I was going to talk about... ;)

What I was going to talk about was life's exceeding excellency!
...as many of your mournful readers know...I crunched my ankle playing racquetball 2 weeks ago...it was my last post before I died to the blogging world, at least it must have seemed like it to all of you! lol...but before I could feel sorry for myself life decided that it just didn't want that mood in my head and became excellent!

I am so happy right now...but that's not really new for me...God is amazing and my friends are amazing...even my ankle is amazing!!

So here's the epic story:

...a week ago we had a worship night with our prayer group and spent an hour and a half just worshipping God in one of the auditoriums...it was absolutely amazing...I could feel God's gentle presence there so strongly! And then afterward Anna told me to wait a while while she talked to Sheridan, and I was like: "Well I'm too happy to stay in the car and wait so I got out...and ended up walking all around that area of the parking lot...and basically singing the entire half hour...and not a single one of the things I sang was a written worship song, I sang my own songs...let God's spirit course through me...and just sang whatever I was feeling and prayed...it was absolutely amazing...it was like speaking with song...speaking to God but singing and rhyming everything...oh it was so good! And the wind was amazing that night too...every time I walk and sing it seems like the wind picks up to sing with me. I just was feeling so strongly that this was what I had been missing...a year ago when I was writing most of my poetry...I was out walking, singing, and praying every single night because God was so amazing...

I'm really begginning to see him in everything...even my schoolwork is a task of spiritual faithfulness...in fact God's told me to get off my bum and get cracking at homework before when I was being hesitant and putting things off. And if God's in the homework than you can be sure your life is a lot better, ;)

The night after that...I was in my bed praying as I was going to sleep, and I felt like it would be a good thing to pray for my ankle...up to that point I really hadn't felt like it was important...I do tend to brush aside injuries but it seemed like God was leading me in directions like that...so I did...and the next morning I woke up with it so much better! It was really amazing!

the day before it still hurt every other step and had pain when I tried to walk up stairs or walked on it for more than a few minutes...the next day I woke up and forgot I had a sprained ankle for most of the day because there was absolutely no pain, and I was speed-walking everywhere and going up steps quickly...the only times I noticed the difference at all was if I tried to run or move really fast like in sports...and now after a week I can even do that...isn't God awesome?

~Dan Midgett