have you ever felt like you were betrayed, or hurt, or ignored--even though all you were doing was being friendly and giving others love? Well then you might feel a little bit like I do right now...I'm still not sure if what I'm feeling has any merit whatsoever, but I'm tired, and just a little worn-out with being treated in a way that seems to me, to be unloving...and just a little bit selfish... :(
I've often told people that I might as well be a girl with all the mood-swings I get, but one thing to my merit is that I usually handle those emotions in a Christ-like manner instead of vindictively...you can't expect to be loved if you don't love...and that's the truth of it. But I'm really feeling pretty lonely right now...sometimes other people really annoy me...often more so if I love them...which is ironic...but then again...if I love them, it hurts more I suppose...
that said...there's no better way to express emotions than in a poem...and this is what happened:
What Was, and What Lives:
life changes...but hopes move on.
The swirling blue of cirrus lifts our souls to new heights.
What once was colored, now it fades below...
beneath the snow of perpetuity—
To live or die, this is my dream...
to be a friend--which isn't always what it seems.
To be a friend means sometimes that we say goodbye
--and doing that is the hardest thing of all:
But firm the tiller, 'gainst the storm...
what hopes of heights, that now have been reborn...
for what is shorn, dost never need return to dust—
my footfalls pound the snow, renewed with thrust
Hear O’ Israel! The Lord thy God is one!
A father that will never loose his son
And lonely songs will never be forgotten
When sung upon the road that leads to him
What once was sorrow—now it turns to joy
What once was heartache, now becomes my cheer
For dissolutions quiet every fear
--within this land—of ever-changing snow...
And one day when I look upon my past,
A beauty that is born of more than ash,
I’ll look and see—rejoice with thee!
What beauty! Joy! What love was there!
--songs of a heavy heart bring comfort to a soul that weeps
...for I can bet my Lord dost never sleep
And shout my victory...to a siren-song that calls!
The call that once thought it might claim my all!
~Dan Midgett, 10/19/09, 9:16 AM
hmm...I feel a bit better...thank you all for loving me...I've never felt unloved on blogger in case any of you were curious...well except for that one time that bethany wouldn't ever comment on my blog...lol, j/k...she did eventually! :) love you all!