Back at last!

So I'm back on campus now...as usual I will probably only post once or twice during the school year, but I thought I'd let everyone know the case. I'm really excited about this new school year and what it might bring. New friendships, new knowledge, new opportunities. It's all endless really--and it's great.

I actually started off my first week by being absent Thursday and Friday though. Thinking back it may be my first time to ever miss class like that, but after this weekend I can honestly say I would have skipped 2 weeks of school to go to The Calling. It was one of the best experiences I've had in a long, long time, and certainly the best event of my entire summer. Kudos to all the men who worked at my church and from other churches...they were great. Basically, The Calling of Men is a 4-day encampment where older, godly men minister to younger men. The purpose is to teach young men what it means to embrace their God-given, Christ-destined masculine souls, in the face of a culture that is causing young men to lose their identity. The entire weekend we were being served and loved, but the real jewel actually turned out to be the structure of the camp. We were so busy there was almost no free time and yet no one seemed to notice, in an instant I felt so close to everyone around me, it was so connected that I felt like I was at home stepping off the bus when we arrived. The weekend just kept getting better and better too. We had about 4-6 speakers a day intermixed with sports and special activities and the topics ranged all over the map with biblical masculinity. Coming into the camp I had a billion questions and apprehensions about my future and all the events that are nearing in my life, like getting married, starting a family, getting a job. Coming out of the camp I feel like I've been given a very clear direction in life. I had heard a lot of the things mentioned because my Dad is great like that and always gives me very applicable life advice, but I've never heard it put together in such a clear, coherant way. For once, I'm feeling very at peace about the strange future ahead...and again I'm getting excited about all those possibilities.

This was a wonderful way for God to break the funk I got into last semester. Basically, I was working so hard last semester that I had no free time. My friendships suffered, my health suffered, my sleep suffered. In fact, practically everything suffered but my grades which turned out great, but that's the problem with me. My hyperfocus. Whatever is the predominant, important thing to me becomes the center of my hyperfocus, a focus so intense that almost everything else needing my attention suffers. It's not like I try to do this...I just do what I need to get done, but I now believe that there could have been a healthier balance to my ordeal. For instance, I was so absorbed in my school-work that whenever I did finish it all, all I could do was sit there and feel lost...because I'd forgotten how to use my free time. Up to my last final in the Spring I was pumped and diligent, studying for hours and pouring over problems and methods...making sure I knew the concepts backwards and forwards. Then, when I walked out of my last final I had this odd sinking feeling come over me, almost immediately after the thought of: I'm done! Came this thought: "Man, now what do I do with my life."

I had become so lost in my school-work that it had become normal to race through learning. It's all that I seemed to have time for. It took me the entire summer, and until this camp to realize that this mindset was still affecting me...and I had the hardest time relaxing without feeling tense about it until this weekend. Did I say it was great? I really can't describe why, but those older men really know something about the masculine soul, they knew how to engage us and challenge us. And yank every one of us out of the illusions we'd allowed to wrap around us. Mine was the all-consuming mindset, and I learned to relax and start developing myself in every direction again. It's a much better feeling than simply doing awesome at my schoolwork. I actually feel as if I'm returning to what I already knew which is funny, but in a way true. I've always been concerned about my growth in every dimension, the most important being my spiritual walk with God, and yet I was side-tracked somehow by the busyness of life. It's an illusion I hope never to be wrapped in again. I'm much happier when I'm growing into the man God always intended me to be...anything that stalls me in that is just not worth it. wouldn't you agree? ~Dan Midgett

Myriad:

There's something about a waterfall...something about the mist, the sound, the spray, that deep-throated thunder that reverberates through everything...it's just intoxicating! Waterfalls are probably one of my favorite places on earth. I like to swim until I'm underneath, and climb the rock walls, and let the surf pound down around my ears...until it's all I can hear...and the white becomes my world. There's no more romantic spot in the world...at least to me. And I mean that in the sense of Anne of Green Gables. It's a romantic place to fantasize, whether you are with or without someone...either way it is a drug for my senses.

This irrational love of water, especially fast-moving water has existed in me for as long as I can remember--I've always been fascinated by it. Perhaps that's why when I searched inside of myself for words to express how I was feeling in my latest poem...it was all about waterfalls...

Myriad:

Mirror, Mirror, gleaming bright,
Upon the wall, upon the night,
Upon the drip of ringing drops
That scatter rainbows in the light.

The dripping drops of silver sound,
They levitate--above the ground--
Each hovers like a crystal ball,
Above the mist of waterfall.

They shiver like an angel's breath,
And coast in silent pirouette,
Then drop on hawk's wings--striking true--
To settle on my face like dew...

Each shining mote descends like glass,
And turns the rock into a mass,
of frothing, foaming revelry,
A world of rivulets an streams.

A silver pane of glass runs by,
Escaping from the the thund'rous sound,
Within the depths, a face stares out
And echoes back the thoughts I own.

The falls are peaceful in the night,
A note of thunder in my mind.
I sit, I write, I sing along,
And silently: I watch the fog...

~Dan Midgett 7/1/10 12:10 AM

Because I can!

Q: why am I posting new blog?
A: Heck, why do I do anything? ;)

Q: why did I vanish from the blogging world for half a year?
A: Well, frankly, because I can, but more importantly because no one ever asked me not too. Frankly if anyone was interested in what I had to say they would have told me to say something. Isaiah got the closest I believe, kudos to you kid! *thumbs up* ...I would write you a poem since I do that a lot, but frankly, I'm not going too...and why? Because I can...

If it seems like my logic is going in circles it's because it is. If you're worrying your head over and over again trying to figure out what the heck I'm trying to accomplish by posting this...I'd say take some aspirin and sit back. Because, frankly, when I write, well I write. Actually, my shortest contributions are usually when I copy things in...another random fact for anyone who cares... And now, I feel like believing in myself. It's quite fun for all you depressed people who are down on yourselves...So...for everyone who is curious...and everyone who has been struggling through the muddled mess of my logic to get to this point...and for everyone who hates the fact that I've just used 4 ellipses in this sentence...I will say, calmly, yet again: I...do...it...because...I...can...

I believe my point couldn't be clearer, despite the fact that it's, quite frankly, about the consistency of mud. Speaking of mud...our pond is almost gone...but that's another story.

I will now tell you, quite simply, how I feel. I FEEL AWESOME!!!!!!! AMAZING! SPECTACULAR! ECSTATIC! JUST SIMPLY FABULOUS!!! in fact, the only thing that would make me feel any happier would be if someone would talk to me...because, quite frankly, I like talking with people. if anyone has noticed a recurring theme in my words that's because there is...And yes: I do it because I can...

Well here's the scoop folks. I mean the real one complete with a cone, triple stacked, and laden with at least several ounces of chocolate syrup, nuts, and those funny like sprinkles that they like to chuck up there. So: I've been looking for a job. In fact, I've been looking for a job for about the past 6 weeks. Oh, I do your odd job here and there, but nary a steady job to be found. I had put in about 50 or 60 applications. I dressed nice, spoke smoothly, and everywhere I went no one wanted to see me. Then, miraculously, I got a call from Kroger. I had been selected along with about 30 other applicants to apply for a tiny selection of positions that had just opened up. So I dressed up, brought my organizer, school schedule, misc. folder, and my other things and I sat....yes that's right my friends...I sat...in a room!

Sure there was another lady in the room, and she talked pretty much the whole time, but I mean, I was SITTING which was really the point. So this lady that I mentioned was talking, and she was talking rather a lot...I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10 of talkers she was probably a 9. A delightful 9 I'll tell you, but one nonetheless. In the first 2 minutes of discussion this talkative, delightful lady made it clear that in order to get hired I would need to work during the school-year and I would probably need to work during the school week as well. All fine and dandy except that's a 40 minute drive one-way and I'm living on campus. I assured her, that I would try to work something out and seriously thought about the possibilities of working around my massively difficult Fall schedule. Luckily I had it right there and she took a look at it too. And soon she was all smiles again. In fact, she gave me some very positive feedback on my interview and made it clear that I had looked professional and desirable. When she learned I was a 4.0 student she told me she had guessed it, and when my department manager for the position I was applying for came up for a personal interview, his first question after he heard my name was whether or not I was related to a Sharon Midgett, my grandmother. When he heard that I was he skipped the entire interview and instead told the lady what a great family I came from and how he was sure I would be a good candidate. I left feeling great except for the fact that I had, quite possibly, killed myself next semester.

Later after discussing it with my parents my apprehension grew. I had given a great interview and it looked like I would very seriously be considered, but I wasn't sure I could handle a semester like what I was creating. I was already carrying 19 hours, and the Junior enineering students had already told us stories about the upcoming semester, portraying it as the hardest semester of the engineering career. Their advice to me was that 16 would be difficult and that I should drop a class. Now, after I had already ignored their advice I would be carrying 19 and making an hour and a half commute to a job that wanted 18-22 hours a week during the school year. Not only was the job perfect...it was impossible to manage.

After praying with my parents, all of us got the same answer. That if I was called back I should tell them I couldn't handle the work next semester. So, sadly, when I recieved a call from Tammy Sue, the delightful lady, 3 days later eager to hire me, I had to tell her that I couldn't handle the upcoming semester and so I couldn't work. To my surprise she changed her tune then, not sure why, and asked me if I was sure...and whether or not I could just manage 18...the minimum for a part time worker. I told her it was impossible unless it was on Friday evenings and Saturdays when I was on my way back home anyway...but I had already told her this in our interview and she had said that that wasn't going to work. Then comes the amazing part. When I said this she said: actually we just hired a new guy that can cover for you during the school week that will work fine. So when do you want to come in for orientation?

...and that was that. Now I have a good job and I work with awesome people in the meat department at Kroger's. So God is awesome. After 6 weeks of searching and searching for jobs he gave me one...and, I must admit, the whole thing was a bit miraculous! ;)

THE END