Saturday, September 5, 2009

A comment that became a blog:

So, I was thinking about the comment Bethany left on her last blog entry, and I started to reply to it...but after typing forever I found that I basically had a blog entry in that little box here are my funny musings for everyone who wants to hear. this is an odd topic so stop reading if love makes you

To Bethany and other girls in general who are curious about how I view girls and relationships:
And to guys who feel the call to love as God would have them is a message for you:

I think you misunderstood my comment. I wasn't saying you won't be "boy-crazy" if your father was a loving one...I was saying that many girls feel the lack of their father's love and it is one of the things that makes them hungry for the love they find in relationships...being interested in boys is a natural thing. I certainly wasn't saying that it wasn't. You could call me "girl-crazy" too if your requirements were that I was interested in them and seek out attention from them. The difference is I don't feel like I "need" a relationship other than friendship with them. Sometimes I find myself thinking fondly of being in love...or, if I am in love...of letting the one I love know. but I certainly don't "need" a relationship because God is my love and he has done such beautiful things with me as a single. In many ways I'm like your friends I suppose. I've never dated and had very few crushes. But that is also primarily because God has been an amazing friend, and because when I do like someone I tend to like them for a long time. And because when I like them...I still don't feel like I need to date them. Because I know that if I truly loved them I would wait for God. Don't get me wrong...I'm extremely interested in a girl if I like her, and find myself thinking of things like marriage and spending time together all the time, however, I know that without God's timing...all my fond plans could very seriously hurt the girl that I love. It would be a false love indeed that took for itself and disregarded the plans that God might have for someone. That would be a selfish love...not something I want. That's why God's a paradox, because I find I can't love girls like they deserve unless I love in a way that the world often sees as weak. What guy in love would wait and never do anything...even to the point of losing the one he loved? The one that cares more about them then he does about himself is who. If that sounds weird think of it this way: I've found in my life that there is nothing more wonderful then being exactly in the middle of God's plan for you. I don't ever want to date someone unless I'm seriously thinking of marrying them, because otherwise there would be no point. And if my intention is not marriage then I don't see how what I would be doing would be any different from being a good, close friend. I'd just be playing with people for my own pleasure. something I can't abide to may seem attractive, but it's just not something I'm very interested in. So, if I don't want to date someone unless I'm thinking of marrying them (that's called courting), and if I know that the most blissful, healthy, and wonderful thing in the world is being right in the middle of God's plan...then obviously, at least in my mind, the last thing I would want to do to someone I sincerely loved would be to get in the way of God's plans for them by pursuing my own ideas of passion. God must lead me there, otherwise I am not walking the path that he has shown me. Anyway...I'll shut up before I start rambling about love...I'm entirely too much of a romantic even though I've never been in a relationship...and I've been very happy that way. It's a paradox really. I love girls to death, but I just don't feel like being a boyfriend...I guess I'm afraid, but I also know that you girls would distract me entirely too much! ;) ...and GOD has laid claim to my attention during this part of my life...

I'm waiting for God's that never or sometime in the future. I know if I wait for him I won't have to worry about messing up my love life...and as it is I get to know tons of awesome girls anyway...I've met quite a few just this week, and it's wonderful to see God in the lives of each and every one of them. And I can't mess that up...if I am to be a man of God I must stand firm in his way, and be a blessing, not a burden, to the christian girls I meet. I don't want them to be worrying about me...I want to give you all the assurance that I love you so completely that if you ever get romantic attention from me then I'm pretty sure God has given me the go-ahead. I admire you all so much...and thank you for respecting me. May God give you men that love you with his own agape love. However exciting love is in the moment, remember this. If the man you find yourself with does not love God more than you...and is not willing to sacrifice being with you for God...then that man will never be able to love you as completely and as wonderfully as you deserve. It's another paradox, but a true one. If we do not learn to love God above everything...then God, the father of our true love, cannot teach us how to love like he does. And what do you want...our incomplete love? However wonderful that may seem in the moment... Or the love of God, the omnipotent creator who has loved you before you even began to dream that you would be yearning for love now.

Let's give it up for a God who loves!
I hope every one of you gets a man who loves you like you deserve...

~Dan Midgett


Cassie said...

Amen. I plan on waiting for God's best for me. Why waste time on relationships that were not meant to be?

I know that God will put it on my heart when I meet the man that I'm supposed to marry and, until, I will keep my heart and mind pure for him.


Anonymous said...

hey, great thoughts! i think that i view it exactly like that (but vice versa, of course :P) and think that you put my thoughts to words perfectly :D...
thanx for following my blog!
ps: how old are you?

Danzibar said...

Im 19...why?

Danzibar said...

oh wait! I meant 1009...sorry, I just take out the two zeros ;)

Bethany said...

I shall open with a quote from that excellent play by Oscar Wilde 'An Ideal Husband":
-Did you miss me?
-Good. I like being missed.
(cue polite laughter from audience)

Sorry, though, that I didn't comment...(see the reply comment on my blog)

Yes! I liked the post. I agree with all of it and can relate to some of it, in that I'm not really interested in "dating" unless I'm serious about the person.

Dating somebody and then breaking up with/dropping them has never seeemed at all attractive to me, and yet I could never seem to whole-heartedly embrace the courtship good/dating bad philosophy, just because I would want to date this one yeah.

Another thing: can a crush last seven years??

I'm sorry, I can't think anymore right now...I'm sure I'll think of a dozen other things, in a while...

Well, anyway, I want to let you know that I do appreciate it when a young godly man is interested in more then the thank you!! :)

[Oh lol, I just realized that the title of the play I quoted from at the top is rather appropriate! teehee]

Anonymous said...

i was just trying to get an idea... :)
i like knowing how old all of my friends on blogger are. it's cool to look at everyone's posts when knowing that. it shows you something about that person. =)

Bracie said...

Dan- in the Maid Marian thing,yes, you do get to dress up in clothes themed from the medieval era. But it's NOT at my home in WA. It's a blogger event. You dress up and then post pictures. And they link to you. Kinda like Poetry's Square! =D

Danzibar said...

Oh...well do I have to dress up in maid marian's wardrobe or can I be a guy?

Danzibar said...

For Bethany: I think if something has lasted 7 years it is no longer categorized as a "crush". A crush usually occurs simply because you think someone is sweet or is our way of simply feeling attracted to people that seem to have qualities we desire in another person. Now, if that has lasted 7 years, fine...but after 7 years I would guess you know the person a lot better and have a more solid foundation to base that attraction upon. That is the line where I would say that you were seriously interested or "in love." that's my input.

Kendra Logan said...

*Great* post! I agree with you, and also Bethany. I don't want to date someone that I wouldn't marry, but I can't completely go with the courtship thing either. I'm confusing, lol!


Bethany said...

Thank you Dan!
Kendra, good grief, another thing we have in common! :)

Danzibar said...

courtship? lol...that's a loaded topic. I simply define it as: dating with the intent to marry. aka...both people know that is the purpose...but I'm not judgemental of other views...I'm just not the type of person that would indulge in a close personal relationship without being serious about it...

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."